“What happened to your beautiful face?” crooned the blonde, delicately running the her manicured fingers across the shiner on my cheekbone.
“Rough day at the office,” I winced playfully.
“Aww, what happened,” asked her friend a brunette with a low-cut dress.
It had been a while since I had occupied an attractive body, perfect teeth, dark, tall, irresistible. “You been heard of these Spontaneous Triggers at local clubs recently?” each nodded. “Well, me and my team were employed to look into it. We started with the latest case down at Billboards with the kid that turned people into glass. We checked out security footage of the night the kid went on his glassing spree and shook down the bartender working the night. It all pointed to Bla…” I paused as the bartender pointed in my direction. “Scotch and coke and two of whatever these ladies are having,” I said indicating the blonde and brunette.
“All signs pointed to Blacklight peddling some drug. So we head straight to the problem, right into Blacklight territory, to a seedy bar called the Rochester Castle,” the bar tender returned with our drinks and I motioned over to a booth. The ladies followed, I slumped into the chair and continued my story.
“So we’re at the Rochester and me, aerophile and pressure chick break into the joint. Seems like the bartender we were squeezing for information snitched on us because they were waiting for us,” we had actually got a tip from the bartender but went anyway being one of the few leads we had. “Just as I went to pour myself a drink at the bar, they showed themselves. Space Cowboy decked out in his space helmet and silver jumpsuit and two lackeys, standing on the ceiling.”
“So I’m there, at the bar standing with a bottle of scotch, top shelf shit right and tumbler. And Space Cowboy’s like ‘Who sent you,’ and I’m like ‘I’ll tell ya when you tell what’s going on’. Then he’s all like ‘You’re in no position to bargain’ and I say ‘That we could discuss this over a drink’ and I take a sip then hurl the tumbler of whisky right at his stupid helmet.” The two women leaned in closer to hear over the thrumming bass of the club.
“I gotta admit the guy is fast, he blasted the glass mid-air with a laser from his finger. This gave me a enough time to duck behind the bar when he started shooting in my direction. I ran the length of the counter half crouched over, as all hell broke loose. I closed the gap between Spacecowboy and me, I swung him with the bottle of whisky from the floor while he tried to shoot me with his finger lasers.”
“ I got some good hit on Space, I had him, smashed open the visor of his helmet. Then Glitterbomb attacked in his glitter form blinding and choking me. That’s when I took a couple of laser blasts. I also heard some gun fire but that ended when Pressure Point sucked one of the goons on the ceiling and Glitterbomb out the window. Nearly sucked me right out with ’em.”
“That goon right, he fell straight into the sky, funniest shit I’d ever seen,” I laughed to myself. “I spent a second watching the guy fall and Glitterbomb tussle with the shooter and turned back to see Space limping away on the ceiling back towards the pissers.”
“I leg it after him bust in the loo and he’s climbing out the bathroom window with powder all over the front of his shattered helmet. He fell with a gentle thud onto a parked car in an alley. I followed but he was waiting for me and threw some powder in my face. I felt light headed high but it wasn’t just the sensation of being high, I began falling into the sky like that other poor sap,” the parahuman groupies leaned in close.
“As my world turned upside down I grabbed onto Space taking him with me and we both fell up into the sky. As we fall I ask him “What is this shit? How longs it last.” As if answering my statement the other goon plummeted back down to earth. With fear in his eyes he says,”Not long. Pixie Dust, it gets you high, one of White Rabbits tinker drugs.””
“I shake him a little, I reckon I could smell himself shitting his bricks, so I press him further, “We’re both going to die so why not tell me what have you been handing to those kids?” Resigned he mutters, “It’s another of White Rabbits drugs, ‘spose to give temporary powers to potential parahumans. We’ve been looking….” He was cut off abruptly as the drug wore off and we both fell to the ground.”
“But how did you survive?” one of the girls asked.
“Babe, I’m bloody immortal.”